Master Seagull

I know this will be my second blog post today, but it's 1 am and the powers that be are dening me sleep. It is possible that by the end of this post I will be asleep when i need to be awake.
Perhaps cutting down on the mass amounts of sugar would help. There are things i want to write about an get out of my system, but in the back of my head there is a little part of me (not one i like much) that says "you can't write that!" Now i stand here - well sit and type - asking why do we fear communicating the truth of life so much? Why? I do respect that there is a limit, and at that point we must question our own thought systems. What i mean is the truth of life.

For example, have you ever found yourself inventing phrases to explain in a very cyptic way that you were ill? Or even taking a deep breath and then continuing an explaination to somthing in a very hushed serious voice at a speed that defies physics? Well i say to you people of the world, if what you are about to say is an undenible truth then feel free to say it. We are human and as such we do have faults.

It has also reached my attention that we do this with stories from our lives as well. What is it about the internet that makes us think that everybody in the world can see us? I know for a fact that this blog does not get many hits, but still i will write as if the whole street is in my room watching me with eagle eyes.

It is fairly obvious from my own experinace that people tend to hate things that are not pointing to some kind of truth (surreal or real), and we all loath it when wikipedia has false infromation on it. Even fiction points to a kind of truth that can be addapted to all stiuations. Maybe we like this mix of lies and truths?

There may be the slight chance that it is just me. Please post comments, i will not judge you.

I shall attempt to end this peice of writing on a happy note.
Mum and i happened to chance upon my younger siblings Nintendo DS. Curiosity grabbed us and we began to play the game that was inside it, "cooking mama" which turned out to be a highly addictive game about cooking food. After an hour of cursing at the screen with such insults as "what do you meen i've failed at cutting a cucumber?" we managed to get the hang of it. Mum then turned to me and said "Shall we cook some reall food now?"

I survived to 19 years old

Yes. It has come to pass that i have turned 19 years old. I know i don't have any reson why i can't get older, but every year when i reach my birthday I can't help feeling so amazed that i have mangaed to live for another year. To mark the event Falin and I went to Reingdale (yes i know thats not how you spell it). It was mainly for the walks that i wanted to go, even if it was raining, and get back to the place i love so much. It rained in waves, which Falin didn't like much. However, it was a brilliant birthday of which i would like to thank everybody for.

Since then life has become very slow, hence i have the time to type somthing here. Falin is coming over to my house a lot and things between us get better and better (so i feel), but i can't help feeling very detached from him as if he's about to dissapere again. I thought he was happy where he was before he came back, but from what he tells me i feel like hes telling two tales. Alas. I love him, i really do. Who knows what will happen next.

Tomorow i shall attempt to make vegan marshmallows, which shall be a world of fun. Somthing to get lost in for a few days.

Short Stories from a dreaming insomiac

He looked over the golf course and the lights of Stornoway that never go out. It was now that time of the early morning when every sence is working at surgical precision, and the full moon was begining to set. Celeb wished that she could be here, even if it was just to see the stunning silence of it all. It was interesting comtemplating the idear of slipping though Blade's bedroom window and taking her up to the bunkers to watch the sunrise, and though she might be asleep Blade was so very easy to wake up. The sunlight became a hazy aray of colours as he mused over dear memories. If only he didn't get so stressed about trying to be prefect around her. "Fear,"he thought "Bloody fear, I love her. I love her!"

The colours in the sky became more intense which seemed to grow with the feelings in his heart. A tear dropped down into his hands, and the one tear was followed by several. He just did not know what to do anymore, it was all so simple. And no matter what Celeb would always love her.

The leaves on the ground behind him rustled. Celeb turned around and watched intently with blurred eyes. He sniffed the air.

A voice came from out of the darkness.
"It will all work out in the end. Everything will be fine. Just let go of your fear."

Celeb continued to listen intently but nothing more was said. Nothing. Only a feeling of relife and calm came over him, as if Blade was there with him, holding his hand.

Suddenly somthing grabbed his foot. He kicked out and screamed out of shock. A smiling face greated him, Blades eyes twinkling at him in the early morning sun while she genltaly hugged him.

It's so good it is almost erie...

The person I cryed for three months over and watched the harbour religously to see any sign of has come back. Any normal person would be thrilled and over-joyed, but I can't help thinking that it is all far too good to be true. There must be a document of small print behind this happyness. Must I ever be the one with the bleeding heart? The broken memories? Maybe it will always be this way. He says he loves me. But instinc tells me otherwise.

It seems to be that this needs some time to think this though.

lynx

Has anybody else noticed that the labling of packaging is getting a little weird? Recentaly i happened to really take notice of a can of Lynx "dark temptation" spray...i kid you not on the back is written "Chocolate fragranced/scented bodyspray. This is not a food. Do not ingest."
I have only one question flashing in my mind like a 5 foot neon light display. What was going though their mind?

Sir/madam. I would love to share thoughts with you.

Today I bit the bullet. I have begun an oil painting. It is truly a weird experiance as it feels like painting with a mixture of the finest of silk and plastacine. The theme is based around Saturn and all its energies, which everyone in the house is keen to have a look at. Not to mention the attention the smell of paint thinner is attracting.

Will post photo of the finished result here when it is done.
I'm going to get back to work.